Crush 1 Tahun

Assalamualaikum 

It was not easy to fall in love for the first time for real. A jomblo happy like me, a playgirl for not so real, a play-play crush girl like me is quite hard to fall in love but i still manage to differentiate between what i love and what i like. It was around a year before, when I was always went down to the field with Naim and Amalia and our pretty netball ball. We were jogging around and then shot the ball into the goal post. That was when some of the boys came and joined us. We took turn shoot the ball and had some talk. Just random talk. Well i was just a listener and a laughter hyenas. Well, that's what a mudah terhibur person is! Then, i kept listening to your voice and talk and chalk and your style and your way. I guess that was when i fell in love with you. I fell in love with how you handled the girls and the talk. And i just kind of crushed on you! Well, I could not tell the girls about that feeling as I dont really believe in the feeling in teen(i was 19!). Mom said, it was a normal feeling as you are being upgraded into a lady! HAHAHHA. Okay, surely cant wait to be a lady. How lady can i be? huuuuuuuu.....



And i just flattering my own feelings whenever we happened to bump into each other in the campus. Macam syok sendiri pun ado. But then, 2016 changes everything. I started to work directly with you. And i couldnt bear it anymore. The girls started to help me to spy on you. Well, are you single? or ...... 


hmmmm then i knew. You already have someone! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHOWWWWW STUPID AM I! I fell in love with someone's darling :( 

I started to cannot accept the fact. And i guess my feeling only suits for a play-play only. Maybe i just suits for having a crush only! well, that's what a jomblo happy is! I hate to start tweeting sad tweets when you are there all the way reading them! It hurts me a lot. It hurts me to see you tweeting somethings romantic. It hurts a lot to see your friends make a joke of your relationship. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts a lot. I asked Allah for strength and i hope He heard me :) 

But then i couldnt help it to be as happy as you when you are sooooo happy with her. Well, you are with her for a long time. I guess you love her till the death or wanna get married to her. Well that's great! What a spirit! So, all i could ask is " Oh Allah, grant his du'a. If being with her makes him happier and more serene, grant his" 


Maybe i shouldnt play with the feelings anymore. It hurts when you dont really get what you want.