(Day 4) Single Woman 30-Days Blogging Challenge

Assalamualaikum and hi!

My biggest fear as a single person, starts since I was 18. That is the topic for today. Oh yes, now I am still 18 but I am 18 of last year-after June.  Okay pening lalat.

Fear means I will lose my confidence. So, to lose to the fear is horrible. My confidence is my face. Because face is the first impression that people will make before they know you further and further. They tend to judge a lot. Who? 

People of course.

Selepas SPM, parut jerawat aku semakin ketara sangat. Aku pun tak tahu apa sebab dia. Memandangkan aku ni dikira muda dan tak tahu apa-apa, I am the oldest girl in the family and have to deal with everything almost by myself so I guess I need to figure out the problem on my own. Aku tahu salasilah keluarga ada yang mengalami resdung. Macam mak aku sendiri, dia penghidap resdung. In fact, I do not even know how and what resdung is! Around few months before I  went to IPG I googled resdung and only maggots(ulat-ulat jijik) yang aku jumpa. Masa tu, I was like, euuwwww! Gross! Aku juga ada bacalah artikel sikit tentang pantang larang pemakanan semua tu.  Aku cuba jugak tapi semakin lama semakin teruk! That is when i fear my single period, NOT HAVING ANY FRIENDS OR PEOPLE'S BAD PERCEPTION.

source : google

That is okay, as I can make friends and friends also who come and go from our life. But, being single, means i have no objection in spending and sometimes and i can thrifty enough until i come back home and cry for the lost money. How cheeky!

The perception of the people made when i see me as a single lady. That is quite worrisome nak-nak makcik kampung ni kan. Mak-mak saudara even yang datang singgah rumah kita sekejap nak borak dengan mak but she end up gosip pasal kita. Tak mengata sesiapa (no offense) but that is how things works.

I was questioning myself, am i too demanding in future partner? Every girl deserve a specification for future partner but that is does not mean that is what she will get. Acceptance. Everytime when a guy tried to be close to me, i would immediately keep a safe distance from him right away. Like, 

Not into his jokes

Try not to depend on him only

Be safe in our conversation

Yelah, kan terperasan siapa yang susah? Hati ini jugak. Nak-nak aku ni mudah perasan orangnya, lelaki buat baik sikit dah separuh hati cair. Lelaki tolong sikit terus nak bergantung bergayut monyet selamanya. Bagi penampar karang baru sedar diri tu siapa nak berperasaan indah sangat huhh. Bila rapat sikit dengan lelaki X, timbul gosip situ, persepsi sana. Bila sendirian je tak rapat dengan sesiapa, gosip situ sini sana jugak. So, pergi mana-mana pun memang orang akan buat persepsi. Alah, even if people said they are being natural minded(atas pagar), somehow akan ada jugak persepsi tu. Because our mind love to speak to our heart :)